Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
