For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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