Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
