Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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