am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
