Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
