last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
