Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Randomize
