Soap is not a condiment
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
