I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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