let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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