Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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