Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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