it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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