i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
