I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
