apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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