he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
