I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
