Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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