would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Rumble strips road head = magical
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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