You're my little dorito
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
