I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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