I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
