just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
