Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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