i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
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