Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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