He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
