so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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