Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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