sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I fill condoms, not promises.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
