Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
