her vagine was all disorganized.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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