guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
