all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
