i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize