Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
