why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
