Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
