THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
