And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
