White coat. Heels.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
