I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
