WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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