Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
