I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
