oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
