It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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