I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
