there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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